I was always very angry, and this led to people saying I was a troublemaker or misbehaving. I often made myself look like a fool to impress people I thought were my friends, it helped me feel like I fitted in and gave other people a sense of joy. Even if they laughed for just a little while, it made me feel involved and happy, knowing I had made them laugh.
After this continued for a while, I became known for this behaviour. When I was kicked out of school, I developed a reputation that I thought I had to live up to, my anger and mental health worsened, and I found it hard to see a way out.
When I wasn’t at school anymore, the people who I thought were my friends, no longer cared about me. This alongside issues that I was struggling to deal with in my personal life took a huge toll on my mental health and I did things that I am not proud of.
The new school I was placed at had a link with Bright Star and I was given the opportunity to attend the Futures programme twice a week. I didn’t think that I would like it to be honest and I get very nervous in groups, but when I walked through the doors I was made to feel at home. Almost straight away when the coaches and other people spoke to me I felt like I belonged somewhere – the coaches and others understood me and just got it.
At the start I just wanted to hit the bags and let my emotions out, but the coaches taught me about control and how to manage my feelings. They sat me down and I felt like I could talk to them about things that were on my mind – this was very scary as I hadn’t told anyone some of these things before. It made my life feel 100X easier – I felt in control and like I could manage everything. It made home life easier too as there were no more arguments.
I proved myself wrong on many occasions as I showed that I could achieve, I got 3 qualifications in just the first term.
I now have huge goals that I know I will achieve. I am so happy and am now training with the squad too. I am introducing more people who need support to the club and have helped the coaches in schools. My life where I want it to be.